That’s a lovely sea view, and where I go on Tuesdays before I visit someone very important. What I’ve not told you so far, in the midst of this poetic flight of fancy, is that I’ve been undergoing psychiatric counselling the entire time: it was for depression and anxiety initially, but there’s a larger view going forward.

I’m pursuing an autism diagnosis, and after this period of one to one interaction is done, I’ll be off on a different path. Here’s where I’ve been spending Tuesday Lunchtimes since March.

It seemed only right and proper I wrote about it: poem’s the least satisfactory of the whole bunch for me but, as it happens, the most accurate in relation to actual brain contents right now. Needless to say, if you care about this stuff, I talk about it on my personal blog in some detail.

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The Waiting Room

I woke up far earlier than needed to this morning
because this is my first day of counselling Blues:
don’t call it therapy ‘cause they can’t cure me
it’s just means to help brain cope with sudden freezes, mental panic
often resulting from being in new and challenging situations ooooh

be grateful you woke up this morning or else
there’d be no-one to present unfortunate affliction to.

Went to the Centre an hour before appointment
because sitting at home stressing doesn’t help yoooou
done that more than adequately for decades:
let’s mix it up, daring panic with approach that’s new
reception chairs are comfy, nobody ever talks toooo

like being at home, only larger, onus subtly alters
allowing expanded opinion from occluded sea view.

Typed the wrong registration number on
town centre parking ticket machine Blues
left hasty note for warden, hope they understand I’m a fooool
that five should have been six, fault of shaking hands
sometimes wish brain wasn’t my most hated fan.

make the most of your command, am what I am
awakening realisation, difference is a part of a plan.

No, I woke up this morning, hoping for Progress with the Blues
maybe local team could spare a striker
kicking issues long way out of view
gentle blond hero makes me be strong
removing debilitating ineptituuuuuude

when all that matters is someone to listen
broken scarred fables, lifetime of wrong
twelve weeks of revelations is
reason to stop singing this song.